Jail Journal
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Jail Diary of BP Koirala

Explanatory notes in parenthesis are given to help readers locate the characters in BP Koirala's personal and political life - Editor.
  • October 8, 1968:

    Yesterday I had asked for a doctor (Dr. Mrigendra Raj). Today early in the morning Dr. Birendra Basnet came. I was told that Dr. Mrigendra Raj (Dr. Mrigendra Raj Pandey) was not available. Dr. Birendra said that I need not worry about the presence of polyp (about 40 centimeter up the colon). But it needs to be kept under observation. He suggested that I should pick up weight, he thinks I have been losing it drastically due to antibiotic treatment or other drugs that I have been taking for a long time in the past, the digestive system has become very much impaired.

    The whole day I was in great agitation and infinitely sad. All sorts of ideas and thoughts are assailing my mind, and the total effect has been of utter mental confusion, agitation and sadness. The political problem is already there; even after eight years of imprisonment there is no prospect of the political situation easing and of our release. Subarna's offer of cooperation to the present system had raised hopes that the King by responding to it would ease the situation. They were false hopes; because now the King wants that I too endorse Subarna's statement. It was presumed when Subarnaji took the step that some action by the King would follow. The presumption was based on the King's statement in USA that our release depended upon Subarna's step, which means we are held as hostages for Subarna's good behavior. When he promises to behave, it now turns out that I too should also promise to behave. From here I conveyed to the King that I could not endorse his statement only because such endorsement would be interpreted as an abject submission on my part under duress. By not accepting this explanation for my not supporting Subarna from prison, the King seems to be motivated not by political considerations but by personal considerations. And here our problems comes; when one is impelled only by personal motives on political issues, it is impossible to reach any kind of political understanding with him. I agree with GM when he says that even if we support Subarna's move from here, the King will continue to sit tight as he did over Subarna's statement, there being no lever to put pressure on him to honour his word. The most unfortunate situation in Nepal's politics has been the utter lack of weight of the words of honour of the King, the most powerful individual in the Kingdom. This is the sinister aspect of the situation also.

    The danger of communist menace is increasing fast. If honourable understanding between the King and ourselves had been reached we could have tried to meet the challenge. If any body thinks that by submitting to the dictates of the King, the Congress will retain its capacity to restrain the communist he does not understand the dialectics of the political situation. Our strength - the strength of a democratic party - is primarily based upon the image of righteousness, of selflessness, that it creates in the people's mind. We cannot be an effective force without that image. I am perfectly sure in my mind that by refusing to accept the term of the King and thereby risking the termination of the negotiation, which GP had been carrying on between the King and myself, I have at least ensured a possibility that we may be effective if a chance presents itself in future rather than lose everything at one stroke alone by appeasing the King and yielding to his obduracy. I think we have future, which I cannot jeopardize by anything that I do today to appease the King whose motives appear to me to be dishonourable.

    Yesterday although we had been given three hours for private consultation, I was too agitated to think over the problem that would be created by my refusal to accept the King's terms. Could I be sure of any commitment that the King makes to compel me to agree to his terms. The situation for us has turned worse.

    GP has to be very careful now. I do not know how he will conduct himself in the situation. He is angry both with the King for his utter disregard to his own commitments, and with the Indian Ambassador for his muddle-headed intrusion in the negotiation. In the most trying situation that has now developed our workers may find communistic methods of work and its ideology very alluring. Even GP thinks he is now confronted with a big question.

    All day long I have been thinking of GP. His position has become very difficult. He was not sure what he would do. What I regret is that I did not tell him words of consolation and could not advise him to be patient. I hope he will met JP as he once said that he might and then go to Delhi too. Is there anything that can keep him busy for a few weeks so that he gets over the present sense of frustration and betrayal that the King's last minute insistence on my agreeing to endorse Subarna's statement has created in him? I am sad more because of him.

    I have been remembering Sushila and other members of the family. They had been entertaining hopes of my release soon. They will be grievously disappointed. Our financial position is also extremely critical.