Jail Journal

Jail Diary of BP Koirala

• July 1, 1967:

  I do not feel like doing anything. Is it psychological or physical? This condition of laziness is contrary to my temperament. My usual state is one of restlessness and activities. Since a few months I have been noticing a change in me - I feel like losing. I have developed slothness. Along with this physical weakness, I am noticing some deterioration of my mind too. I cannot concentrate my mind on any subject for a long time - my mind gets tired very soon. I have not the old alertness. My mind had never been quick, but it was active and inclined to make efforts; moreover, it was a clear mind. It took long to understand a thing, but it understood well. That is not so now. It gets bogged soon and is inclined to avoid hard and concentrated efforts. Is it old age? I should not think so, because such mental deterioration should not begin so early at my age (which is only 53 years). Is the life of the prison having its effect on me? If it is so, then the deterioration has started all of a sudden.

  Spent the day almost sleeping and dozing. I read a few pages of Havelock Ethos. Sex is a subject that one can tackle even when the mind is so dull and unreceptive as is mine at present.



• July 2, 1967:

  Read 'Father and Son' by Turgnev. The novel was written more than 100 years ago, but the picture of the conflict of the two generations - fathers and sons - continues to be fresh and surprisingly up to date (even in the languages of the protagonists), although the social context has changed. This novel has not dated as the novels of Sarat Babu, whose appropriateness for the present time is very little. Moreover, the novel is not loaded with clustering details which less competent artists resort to,to bring out the fullness of characters. The depth of the story is provided by alternative episodes and the characters have been developed with minimum details. There is neatness in the execution of the plan (scheme) of the novel.

  But what does the writer want to convey through the character of Bezanov? Bezanov is before me in clear light but what I do not know is: what to make out of him? Is he an object of admiration and pity, or more admiration or more pity or is he despite his energy an ineffectual figure? Is he a ridiculous figure, a romantic young man, although he wants to pass off as a realist? Nihilism - is it an ideal foredoomed to failure because it tries to impose itself on life, which does not tolerate any interference with it?



• July 18, 1967:

  Interview with TP and Nona (Nona Koirala, wife of Keshav Koirala), Bunu had also come but she could not interview me because the King refused to give permission. I saw her through the small gate and exchanged greeting. Sitara and Kamal had also come. Sitara has become quite charming - she told me that she had stood first in her class and that she had won a wrist watch, which she showed to me. Kamal (Kamal Koirala, son of Matrika Prasad Koirala) was however shy. Bunu is enroute to Biratnagar to see mother, who had had a very serious attack of prolonged unconsciousness. TP told me that the doctor had at one stage despaired of her life. Saroj's (Saroj Prasad Koirala) wife Manju had also come with her little daughter.

  I am concerned about mother's health. She is about 72. Although she has been keeping a good health and has been always active - except when she was laid with asthma - the age is against her. I cannot imagine age-ridden incapacitated mother, who has to depend on others for her personal work and needs. TP says that she is now alright. There was sudden loss of sugar induced coma which lasted for three hours. I lost father when I was in Jail. Perhaps I may not be with my mother when she will be dying. I am her beloved son and her hero.



• August 4, 1967:

  The current decade of the 60's - during which we have been in prison - has been a momentous period. Since our arrest much has changed on the national and international scene. The cold war tension between USA and USSR has considerably lessened, which has resulted in the undependability of these powers as friends of weaker ones. USA image has been further eroded by the Vietnam war. England is definitely fading out as a world power, and her international position is pretentious rather than real. France is already faded out. In serious international matters both England and France are of no consequence. India's hollowness as a force in international politics - even as a great power of Asia - has been cruelly exposed. Its internal strength is still more minimal. China has emerged as a powerful state - more powerful potentially than actually because of her military strength to which is added its capacity for nuclear war. China is a great factor. In Nepal, the King has succeeded in disorganizing liberal democratic forces although he has not done anything else. He has not built any viable political system - there is vacuum in Nepal; and the change of peaceful progress towards democracy appears to have disappeared. The attractive is communism or radical democracy. Radical democracy is distinct from liberal peaceful democracy. It accepts violence as means to democracy - violence of every political nature. It eschews restraints in political action. It concentrates more on the current urgency of demolition than on the future building of the society. There is an element of recklessness. It acts with fury, almost blindly but hoping that later day building process will take care of itself and that ultimately democracy will eventuate.



• August 6, 1967:

  The current decade of the 60's - during which we have been in prison - has been a momentous period. Since our arrest much has changed on the national and international scene. The cold war tension between USA and USSR has considerably lessened, which has resulted in the undependability of these powers as friends of weaker ones. USA image has been further eroded by the Vietnam war. England is definitely fading out as a world power, and her international position is pretentious rather than real. France is already faded out. In serious international matters both England and France are of no consequence. India's hollowness as a force in international politics - even as a great power of Asia - has been cruelly exposed. Its internal strength is still more minimal. China has emerged as a powerful state - more powerful potentially than actually because of her military strength to which is added its capacity for nuclear war. China is a great factor. In Nepal, the King has succeeded in disorganizing liberal democratic forces although he has not done anything else. He has not built any viable political system - there is vacuum in Nepal; and the change of peaceful progress towards democracy appears to have disappeared. The attractive is communism or radical democracy. Radical democracy is distinct from liberal peaceful democracy. It accepts violence as means to democracy - violence of every political nature. It eschews restraints in political action. It concentrates more on the current urgency of demolition than on the future building of the society. There is an element of recklessness. It acts with fury, almost blindly but hoping that later day building process will take care of itself and that ultimately democracy will eventuate.